Time To Grow, Or Time to Grow Old??

As I was walking this morning a thought hit me again, that I have encountered many times, and it is this: isn't it funny how when we were young, we couldn't wait to get to be an adult and as an adult, how often we wish for the time when we were young and carefree! As an adult we make decisions every day, some seemingly trivial and others that are life-and-death decisions; whether we are driving and pull out in traffic or must make life-decisions for aging parents. I imagine that the human condition is one that we are never truly satisfied!

I would think that God could get so fed-up with us, as we are always complaining and wanting more and more and just how thankful are we before we begin again our/my incessant want and desire! As a child I remember a fairly happy childhood. I did have a lot of things going on and change seemed to be a constant as I look back but those days weren't actually so terrible. I grew up in a broken home, my Mom & Dad separated when I was 22 months old, so I don't have any memorances of my real Dad as a child and my Step-Dad and I got along pretty good. I wasn't abused or treated badly in any sense of the word and even tho my parents squabbled some, and when they did oftentimes there were days or weeks of silence, I still think I had a pretty good childhood, all-in-all.

As an adult, I have had some moments I guess. I got married right out of high school and we had three girls within 8 years. Looking back, I think that kids should grow up some before having children of their own but when actually would we start then? I'm reminded quite often that I haven't grown up even yet! LOL! I've had two marriages that didn't last and Denise and I have been married almost 16 years (in Nov.), so it must be true that the couple that has God in the center in much more likely to last! I am thankful for her and for our devotion to each other and to our God!

And as time passes on and we grow older, it seems really difficult to watch our parents grow older as well and to see their health deteriorate thru the years. I have written before about my Dad and how his cancer has returned after several years (12) of remission. I am truly thankful for this time of remission because we have gotten to know each other in recent years and as much as possible, catch up on life, past and present. He has brought a lot of awakening into my life as far as an appreciation of things past, whether the hard life of those who lived those times, or past ways of doing life in the day-to-day struggles growing thru the depression years and the years that followed! I love old buildings and old tractors and just the old ways. My uncle lives in an old house that was built around 100 years ago and even tho it is pretty dismal in that it has seen better days, the house itself is like a walk back into time and I cherish being in and seeing the 'old home place'.

I will truly miss the growing times spent with my Dad in the past few years when this cancer takes him Home and away from us here left behind. His has not been a perfect life, nor mine either, but the time we have had has been interesting and priceless. I think his life has affected many people around him, some good and some not so good, and I take that into consideration every time I see him. But as far as myself, it has been a good time. Good memories, the bad stuff kindof flows away and if I try to look at him thru the loving eyes of my Father in Heaven, I must with compassion forget and forgive.

I am no one's judge, including my own. I leave judgment to God Almighty and in His power and might will I/we live to see this thru until Heaven!

I sure do miss the simple days of youth...

For more info you can go to: http://www.worldofdanny.com/ and read my story at "My Journey, The Life of a Pilgrim' which is my on-going autobiography.

Cancer...Again!

What exactly is cancer??? "Cancer is not just one disease, but a large group of almost one hundred diseases. Its two main characteristics are uncontrolled growth of the cells in the human body and the ability of these cells to migrate from the original site and spread to distant sites. If the spread is not controlled, cancer can result in death." Why is it when we hear this word we tend to tremble at its implications??!

Last week, we took my Dad to the doctor for what I thought would be a fairly routine procedure but instead we heard the word 'cancer'. He had a bout with the dreaded disease back in 1997 and lost a lung which the doctors told him there at Chapel Hill was due to smoking for 40+ years. After removal of his lung and extensive radiation, he had recovered enough to live a pretty full life since, altho slowed by its effects.

What lies ahead we will not fully know until more tests are run on Wednesday at the new cancer facility there at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. They open this new wing today (Aug. 17th) and he will be one of the first to be touched by its wide and various arrays of medical technology! We are praying for God's intervention and mercy in this very difficult season in his life. His spirits are fairly high considering the seriousness of this and he is encouraged by all the prayers of folks whom he doesn't even know and also being able to see a couple of the doctors who treated him before!

Our God is the Great Physician and it will be Him Who will either bring healing or not, but in the end it is Heaven which we all as Believers desire in our future and I am sure that is my Dad's desire as well! He is a Believer and has been for a lot of years and has traveled a long and winding road in this thing called life. 82 years have been allowed him and he has seen many changes and wonders in those years. I'm afraid that as the older generation passes from this life to the next, many memories and secrets of survival will pass along as well. I enjoy listening as he tells of days from the Depression Era and the family's determination to make it thru to the other side even among some severe hardships. I also notice a hint of longing for those 'good old days' even tho they were as difficult as any in America's past!

I know he is not perfect, neither am I by a long shot, but getting to know him in recent years has been a good memory that I will remember all of my days. I did not spend my growing up years with him and my brothers,and I actually 'met' him for the 'first time' of my memorance when I was 17 years old. We had a shaky beginning to a relationship which was broken for another 20 years or so and have actually only in the past 5 years or so, been able to overcome some of the mistakes of the past. In fact, we still have some 'differences' of sorts between us, but I realize that he is 82 years old and not likely to change much on this side of heaven, so I take him as he is and I go on, much like people have to take me and do the same.

I, myself, am not perfect and I have many rough edges to both my character and countenance of which I am not necessarily proud nor would wish for any of my children to inherit, but I am 51 years old and not likely to change much either. I'm sure that I have some folks in my 'world' who would agree that I am a difficult one to be around and most obnoxious at times too. I could tell some stories of my '&%%#' character but I'll leave it just to say that being around me is not a like 'box of chocolates' and I give a lot of credit to Denise for loving me anyway!

I would apprecate all your prayers for him and my step-Mom, Helen. We also have a friend, Ann Simpson, who is battling breast cancer now too and I ask that you please pray for her also! The enemy of our soul, satan, is having a big time right now with the Saints of God, but his time is short and he knows it! There are those who believe that God gives us various diseases and ailments but I tend to believe that God allows these things to come upon us, to test and strengthen our faith and keep our eyes on Him.

Regardless of why this cancer has come from and its intent, it is my prayer and desire to see it extinguished and defeated. I hope too, that in the near future there will be a cure 'found' (given by God) that will forever keep families from having to deal with the horrors of this word 'cancer'!

To be continued...

Heritage Means Everything!

I want to talk about my Great-Great Grandmother Mahala Massey! Born Feb. 11. 1810 and she died on Feb. 8 1902. She was full-blooded Cherokee indian! She also lived to be just 3 days from being 92 years old!! Her headstone is located at New Bethany Baptist Church. I wish I could have known her!

She was from my Dad's Mother's side of the family.

His Mom was Bertie Lee Massey Shook and her Mom was Lily Clodfelter Massey and her Dad Joseph E. Massey Jr. . His Mom was then my Great-Great Grandmother, Mahala Massey.