As I was walking this morning a thought hit me again, that I have encountered many times, and it is this: isn't it funny how when we were young, we couldn't wait to get to be an adult and as an adult, how often we wish for the time when we were young and carefree! As an adult we make decisions every day, some seemingly trivial and others that are life-and-death decisions; whether we are driving and pull out in traffic or must make life-decisions for aging parents. I imagine that the human condition is one that we are never truly satisfied!
I would think that God could get so fed-up with us, as we are always complaining and wanting more and more and just how thankful are we before we begin again our/my incessant want and desire! As a child I remember a fairly happy childhood. I did have a lot of things going on and change seemed to be a constant as I look back but those days weren't actually so terrible. I grew up in a broken home, my Mom & Dad separated when I was 22 months old, so I don't have any memorances of my real Dad as a child and my Step-Dad and I got along pretty good. I wasn't abused or treated badly in any sense of the word and even tho my parents squabbled some, and when they did oftentimes there were days or weeks of silence, I still think I had a pretty good childhood, all-in-all.
As an adult, I have had some moments I guess. I got married right out of high school and we had three girls within 8 years. Looking back, I think that kids should grow up some before having children of their own but when actually would we start then? I'm reminded quite often that I haven't grown up even yet! LOL! I've had two marriages that didn't last and Denise and I have been married almost 16 years (in Nov.), so it must be true that the couple that has God in the center in much more likely to last! I am thankful for her and for our devotion to each other and to our God!
And as time passes on and we grow older, it seems really difficult to watch our parents grow older as well and to see their health deteriorate thru the years. I have written before about my Dad and how his cancer has returned after several years (12) of remission. I am truly thankful for this time of remission because we have gotten to know each other in recent years and as much as possible, catch up on life, past and present. He has brought a lot of awakening into my life as far as an appreciation of things past, whether the hard life of those who lived those times, or past ways of doing life in the day-to-day struggles growing thru the depression years and the years that followed! I love old buildings and old tractors and just the old ways. My uncle lives in an old house that was built around 100 years ago and even tho it is pretty dismal in that it has seen better days, the house itself is like a walk back into time and I cherish being in and seeing the 'old home place'.
I will truly miss the growing times spent with my Dad in the past few years when this cancer takes him Home and away from us here left behind. His has not been a perfect life, nor mine either, but the time we have had has been interesting and priceless. I think his life has affected many people around him, some good and some not so good, and I take that into consideration every time I see him. But as far as myself, it has been a good time. Good memories, the bad stuff kindof flows away and if I try to look at him thru the loving eyes of my Father in Heaven, I must with compassion forget and forgive.
I am no one's judge, including my own. I leave judgment to God Almighty and in His power and might will I/we live to see this thru until Heaven!
I sure do miss the simple days of youth...
For more info you can go to: http://www.worldofdanny.com/ and read my story at "My Journey, The Life of a Pilgrim' which is my on-going autobiography.
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